There is no written rule that dictates when you should or shouldn’t date in recovery. Your first year of sobriety is a journey. Who you are and how you feel is going to change drastically from 30 days to 6 months to 9 months. Every day you are changing and growing as you continue healing. It is generally suggested that you abstain from dating for at least your first year.
- You haven’t worked out relationships from the past yet: Relationships in the height of drug and alcohol addiction aren’t always healthy. Many times, they are nothing less than dysfunctional. You haven’t had the time, space, or clarity of mind to really work through your past relationships and grow as a person. You’re working on that every day in treatment.
- Your “picker” is broken: Your brain is in the process of being repaired. Systems which help you make good decisions, action with rational judgment, and even act on your morals, are still a little impaired. As a result, you’re likely to overlook the red flags of someone’s behavior or mannerism and jump straight into what you think is love.
- You’re going to have “treatment goggles”: Love feels good. Falling in love feels good. Obsessing about and craving love is a nice distraction from the pains of withdrawing from drugs and alcohol. Focusing on a “relationship” is also a nice distraction from the introspection and personal work you are being challenged to do in your therapy sessions. You’re going to find at least one person in treatment attractive. For addicts and alcoholics in recovery, it can be a fatal attraction. It’s critical to remember: you’re both in treatment because you both need to recover from a problem with drugs and alcohol.
- You have relapsed time and again over a breakup: Breakups are hard to go through. When you get into a relationship in early recovery, you might dive into the optimism that they are the one and it is going to last forever. The “high” of new love and a new relationship helps you forget some of the other pain you are experiencing, mind, body, and spirit. As soon as that relationship ends, you’re confronted with the pain that was already there and the new pain of a terminated relationship. Too many men and women relapse in order to avoid feeling the pain.
Harmony Place is a long term care facility. We offer a full continuum of residential treatment options to fit each client’s needs as well as provide a transitional, step-down process for treatment. For a private assessment and more information on our dual diagnosis programs for addiction and mental health disorders, call us today: 1-855-652-9048