The Link Between Addiction and Perfectionism

February 4, 2020

Harmony Place Team

Contrary to what one may think, when an individual is struggling with addiction, they are often struggling with perfectionism as well. Beneath their addiction, this person may have unrealistic expectations which have caused them to abandon their goals and escape through drug and/or alcohol use. Of course, not all addicts are perfectionists, but it is often this black-or-white thinking that drives the unhealthy thoughts and behavioral patterns behind a number of addictions and mental health disorders.

What exactly is Perfectionism?

The dictionary defines perfectionism as “a personal standard, attitude, or philosophy that demands perfection and rejects anything less”. In psychology, perfectionism is a personality trait marked by striving for flawlessness and setting impossibly high performance standards, accompanied by critical evaluations and concerns regarding others’ opinions. According to psychologists’, perfectionism is often the result of a person feeling unloved and/or felt like they’ve made too many mistakes in life, and need to stay ‘perfect’ in order to achieve their future goals.

People who contain these personality traits often don’t realize the affect this thinking has on their mental health and likely don’t realize they have a problem until experiencing intervention. Furthermore, they have a tendency to push those close to them away, many times believing they can handle it on their own. They may feel as though they can’t live up to what they perceive as their loved ones’ expectations of them.

Moreover, perfection itself can be addictive. Wanting to attain perfection often leads to persistent feelings of frustration, despair, shame, or guilt, which, as we know, could easily lead someone into a life controlled by addiction.

Even though most perfectionists logically understand that they cannot achieve perfection, they continue to expect it. This type of magical thinking is a common feature of addiction: “Other people may need help, but I can do it on my own”.

The perfectionist also misinterprets the message of abstinence. Undeniably, abstinence is a black-or-white concept. What the perfectionist doesn’t realize is that abstinence is the long-term objective, and that relapse is a learning opportunity, not a failure. Because they expect perfection right from the start, the addict has a difficult time rebounding from a relapse.

Often times in recovery, the perfectionist will compare themselves to their peers during treatment. They will see what other people can do, and expect themselves to do more. This type of grandiosity also feeds addiction. It is not uncommon for addicts to feel unlike others or feel that they play by a different set of rules. Perfectionism can destroy the addict’s confidence and ambition to heal. Instead, they resort to the mindset of, “Recovery is too hard. If I can’t do it perfectly, I’d rather not try.” This fear of not being ‘good enough’ deters some people from getting help at all.

Overcoming perfectionism – and addiction

Desire to be perfect can destroy an addict’s confidence and motivation to heal if recovery does not go as planned. However, psychologists agree that there are many positive and negative aspects to being a ‘perfectionist’. The flip side of perfectionism can motivate people to reach their goals, and to feel accomplished in doing so. Just like everything else in life, it’s a delicate balance.

Don’t feel afraid to lean on others to help you achieve goals. Contact Harmony Place to discuss your goals and our treatment options. 1-855-652-9048

Chris P

I've been to 12 rehabs over the last 20 years and NO other place has touch like Harmony Place! From the owner right down to the cleaning lady, everyone here is kinda and warm. God has blessed this place and I feel privileged to have come through here. I recommend anyone who is going through their struggle with mental health or substance abuse to pick up the phone and come! You won't regret it!

Joseph S

This place is incredible, kind, loving, patient, rigorous, educative, caring and the best place for recovery. Ill be part of the alumni crew

Monica G

I had very good experience at Harmony Place From first day I came, staff was very kind and make me feel welcome and safe. Everyone was friendly and always try to help me. The therapists are very good and caring. They listen to me and help me understand my problems better. I learn many things from them and feel stronger because of their support. The nurses also very nice and professional. They always check on me and make sure I am okay. Food was good and facilities were clean and comfortable. It help me feel more relaxed and focus on my recovery. Management also doing very good job. Everything was organized and you can see they really care about patients. I am very thankful for this place and all the people who work here. I recommend this center to anyone who needs help.

Denton

Awesome place great people u want to check this place out most definitely 😜

Tyler

A treatment center where the owners truly care about your recovery and after care.. cannot recommend enough

Jodana S

If you want to detox painlessly this is the place! The staff is A1. They truly care about us. The groups are awesome . Residential is crazy awesome! You live in a mansion. With a private chef who makes the best food. Community meeting that gets results fast, they care about your opinions. Pool and Jacuzzi are beautiful. If your struggling with addiction this is the house you should come to. I LOVE HARMONY PLACE!!!!! Thank you to all the staff they go above and beyond to make this experience comfortable therapeutic. Don't spend another day in your addiction come to Harmony Place right now!

Cass

I’ve been to 4 treatment centers before Harmony Place, and I can tell you without a single doubt that this is the absolute best by FAR. The past ones were luxury Residential Treatment centers that just treated every single client the same not tailoring to each individual, and were basically just in it for the money, dropping the ball each time. I can also tell you that I’ve never met the CEOs, but here, David comes to the facility almost every single day, and makes sure he get to know every individual here. He is incredibly kind, and was even willing to transfer me to another facility with a higher level of trauma therapy due to me having a lifetime of trauma and PTSD that just is going to take a long time to tackle. He truly cares about all of the clients having all of the tools that we need before getting released to the real world. No more of other CEO would ever be willing to miss an opportunity at making more money and even paired with my IMPECCABLE case manager to find a different facility that was more trauma based. My case manager, Sam, goes absolutely above and beyond in every single aspect. She makes sure you have a smooth transition into aftercare, provides out of this world advice when it comes to sobriety, and takes the time out of her day to make sure that FMLA and short-term disability are completely taken care of during your stay. I’ve never met a case manager that could ever compare to Sam. Ever. I feel lucky to have met her, genuinely. Marissa, my therapist, is SO SWEET, actually listens to you, and provides advice and therapy tailored to each individual’s experience. She’s handled every mood I’ve been in, never judged me, and allowed me to feel safe enough to tell her things I’ve never told any person or therapist in my 29 years of life. I’ve been going to therapy for the past 15 years, and none of those therapists even come close to how amazing she is. I’ve been to 4 other treatment centers in my life and none even come close to Harmony Place. The facility is clean, organized, and high-end. I would recommend Harmony place to my family, friends, and anyone seeking treatment. I feel SO BLESSED to have landed in their hands. THANK YOU TO EVERYONE IN THE CLINICAL STAFF BEYOND WORDS. I love you guys ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️. I feel more confident than ever in my Recovery.

Gabe H

Where to begin.. Harmony is a place that will forever be a part of my story as the first step in my recovery journey. I’m so grateful for this program. The staff is very friendly, and many of them understand what addiction is like, for they themselves have recovery stories of their own. They have an awesome team of therapists, group facilitators, nurses, RA technicians, medical and health professionals, a wonderful case manager for aftercare that cares deeply for your next steps; making sure you are set up for success. They have a wonderful admissions team (shoutout to Marielle who was so kind and understanding of my messed up situation). Everyone is very relatable and friendly. They invest heavily in the importance of diet and nutrition too - there’s a full time professional chef. I gained all the weight I lost and wanted back in the first two weeks lol. On top of the intensive programming they do throughout the day, they take us out to experience various kinds of outside groups to get a taste of the real world, and also take us on social outings during the weekend. If you’re serious about getting better this place will meet you where you’re at and prepare you to launch with a renewed mind and heart.

Monica P

I can't begin to explain just how amazing Harmony Place is. In fact, when we sit down with the owner, Jeff, and clinical director, David, on Monday mornings to have a house meeting, they ask us what they could be doing better. A bigger blender for smoothies is the ONLY thing we could come up with. Let me begin by addressing some negative reviews. If you notice many of them are from people, or are referring to people who have been asked to leave. It is because of harmony places protection of their clients that provide ideal conditions for healing and progress. There is a screening process that it is implemented where they make sure the clients they admit are ready to start a life of sobriety. Some people slip through the cracks. Some people find out a few days or weeks in that they've changed their minds. Some are inappropriate and break rules. It happens. When Harmony Place ask people to leave, It's because they are protecting the people who are here that want treatment. In effect, they're providing exactly what I needed for a genuine start to recovery. When I began my search for a treatment center, my requirements were that the facility's provide an environment in which its residents all want to be there and that it is ethically ran. I got that and so much more at Harmony Place. As well as a structured routine, they also provide a confidential and nurturing environment where one feels safe and where profound healing can begin. Their program offers a sound foundation where further progress in sober living is almost guaranteed. In group meetings, we enjoy getting to know ourselves again and with deeper understanding about why we are the way we are. We are provided with skills to handle real life. Its here that I've come to understand that its not addiction that has driven me to make a mess of my life. It is the trauma that I endured and not processing it correctly that lead to poor thinking patterns that opened the door to addiction resulting in poor life management. So we start at the bottom. Trauma. They help us understand that trauma has led to our own toxicity, what that trauma looks like and how to get out of our own way. Process groups help us learn how to take accountability and foster healthier relationships. I learned here that changing the way I think is absolutely possible and imperative to the healing process. Harmony Place offered me hope when I previously felt I was unfixable and a support team that truly loves me. Even after I leave here, I have contacts that almost demand I keep in touch and an alumni meeting where I can return to the facility on Thursday nights. I wasn't a 12 stepper when I came here but my first experience with it was not one where I was ready to stop using. I understand now that the steps will work for me. It's certainly is not the only modality that they teach. In one group, we are provided an opportunity to sit with a recently retired medical doctor to just ask questions. Another is with a nutritionist. There are a handful of people IN recovery that come to lead groups that are all accredited highly specialized where I felt understood and not judged. The knowledge I have gained here is life changing. It is also versatile and relatable for all types of people. my favorite group was dialectical behavioral therapy. There are breathing classes and sound bath groups and I started doing yoga in the morning. There's a dharma meeting they take you offsite that focuses on Buddhist values. A fantastic onsight chef provides three meals and you can have special requests. We facilitated our own Movie nights during free time. I cant forget to mention you get your own one on one meetings with your assigned primary therapist and there is comprehensive medical support complete with 24/7 nurses and a doctor that shows up throughout the week. If this is what you need to recover and you have mediCAL, cancel your mediCAL and get insurance Harmony Place accepts if you can. There are people to help you with that as well. Just call. Many, many thanks to the staff. ✔️Another life changed.🙏

Cody B

This is such an amazing place truly changed my life. I would recommend this place to anybody if they’re looking for a strong recovery house that truly cares about your recovery and not about just money So if you’re ready to change your life, don’t miss out on the greatness of harmony because this place is where it’s at