Codependency and Addiction

October 6, 2023

Harmony Place Team

Understanding Codependency Enabling and Drug or Alcohol Addiction

Codependency and addiction often form a destructive cycle that deeply impacts relationships, particularly within families. When someone develops addiction-related behaviors, their loved ones may unintentionally adopt codependent tendencies, including enabling or overcompensating for the addict’s actions. This dynamic can hinder recovery by fostering unhealthy dependencies and shielding the person struggling from the consequences of their addiction. From making excuses to covering up behavior, codependent enabling prevents both individuals from addressing the real issues. Harmony Place in Los Angeles provides support to help break these patterns, offering tailored treatment plans for both addiction and codependency.

Addressing these intertwined challenges is vital for successful recovery and healing—for both the individual with substance abuse issues and their codependent loved ones. Therapy programs at Harmony Place, including support for families and partnerships, focus on identifying and reversing behaviors tied to codependency. Group sessions like Codependents Anonymous (CoDA) or counseling for emotional dependence help families rebuild healthier dynamics. By understanding the roots of codependency and its connection to addiction, individuals and their loved ones can learn to foster healthy relationships and take genuine steps toward lasting recovery.

Codependency and addiction can create significant problems in relationships and family dynamics. When the partner of a person with an addiction displays codependent behaviors, they could contribute to their loved one’s addiction—without realizing it. However, much like addictive behaviors, therapeutic interventions can treat codependency in relationships.

At Harmony Place in Los Angeles, California, we’re here to help those struggling with addiction as well as their families. Addiction to drugs and alcohol—and co-occurring mental health disorders—affect families and loved ones as much as the person struggling. Codependent behaviors and addiction are often linked as a result.

How Are Codependency and Addiction Linked?

Codependency and addiction are linked because of how common codependent behaviors occur among spouses and family members of addicts. According to Mental Health America, codependency “was first identified . . . as the result of years of studying interpersonal relationships in families of alcoholics.”

In addition, codependency occurs frequently among loved ones of people with other chronic health conditions. For instance, living with family members with mental health disorders or medical disabilities can lead to codependent behaviors. Overall, the underlying factor for codependency is some level of family dysfunction.

Signs of Codependent Behavior

Codependent behaviors are likened to people-pleasing and enabling. These behaviors reflect a person’s low sense of self-esteem and need to find purpose in fixing a dysfunctional relationship. Furthermore, a codependent person could be “addicted” to unhealthy relationships.

Signs of codependent behavior include the following:

Low self-esteem
Unable to feel fulfilled without a relationship
Feel responsible for another person’s problematic behavior
Confuse love and pity—and try to “rescue” their loved ones
Trouble setting and maintaining boundaries in relationships
Helping others at the expense of their own needs
Need to control other people’s behaviors
Difficulty communicating feelings, needs, and boundaries
Obsessing or excessively worrying about their mistakes
Becoming defensive when others disagree with them
Problems making decisions
Feeling guilty when they stand up for themselves

While helping others and wanting intimacy are not problematic, for someone with codependency issues, these become obsessive needs. The person is unable to feel comfortable when they are not in a relationship with a healthy person.

In other words, they need someone with problems that they can take care of. Hence, codependency and addiction tend to co-exist.

Similarities in Codependency and Enabling

There are similarities found in codependent behaviors and enabling. Enabling is usually a sign of codependency. When someone enables an addicted partner, they allow the addiction to continue, often without realizing it.

Enabling behaviors are common, especially among spouses of those with an addiction. For instance, the person might cover for their loved one when they miss work due to a hangover. Or, they could take on their household responsibilities when they are under the influence.

Like codependency, enabling reflects a lack of boundaries and an overwhelming feeling of responsibility for another’s behavior. Simply put, enabling behaviors are anything that shields a person from the consequences of their problematic behaviors.

Making Excuses for Their Addiction

Making excuses for another person’s problematic behaviors is a common part of codependency and addiction. These excuses enable the addicted person to continue their behaviors. Moreover, excusing the addiction brushes off the seriousness of it and could be a sign of denial.

Denial of the addiction leads both the addict and the codependent to make excuses. This could come in the form of minimizing the behaviors. However, excuses generally allow the addict to continue their behaviors.

Some excuses offered by codependents mirror the addict’s own excuses. For example, the addict might have been raised by an alcoholic. Thus, they feel like they cannot help themselves and are victims of their genetics or upbringing. And, the codependent could excuse the addiction—further enabling the addict’s self-victimizing excuse.

Since codependency and addiction are often tied together, many treatment facilities offer family support. They could also provide family therapy or encourage family members to find treatment.

How Therapy Can Help

Therapy can help both the person with codependency and their loved one struggling with addiction. For one thing, when a person struggles with addiction, they need a support system that will set boundaries for their behaviors. So, a family member with untreated codependency could enable their loved one’s addiction following treatment, leading to a relapse.

On the other hand, many people with codependency issues don’t realize how they are contributing to the issue. Or, they are trying to genuinely help their loved one get help, yet they don’t have the skills to do so. Therapy can help a codependent find healthy ways to cope with their loved one’s addiction—without further enabling the behavior.

In addition, peer support groups can offer support and advice for codependents. The following support groups can help:

Support groups and therapy offer hope to those struggling with codependency and addiction.

Get Help for Codependency Today

The ripple effects of drug and alcohol addiction often extend beyond the individual grappling with the issue. Family members and other loved ones can inadvertently adopt detrimental behaviors in response to these challenges. In some instances, individuals with codependency issues may form relationships with those who are struggling, leading to a codependent relationship where each person perpetuates the others’ harmful behaviors.

Harmony Place, located in the heart of Los Angeles, California, is dedicated to providing support not only for individuals battling addiction but also for their families. We understand that codependency and addiction frequently coexist, and we are committed to helping you and your loved ones break free from these unhealthy cycles.

In our efforts to make recovery accessible, Harmony Place is proud to accept health insurance from numerous providers. This includes Anthem Blue Cross Blue Shield, Aetna, Cigna, Blue Shield of CA, Carelon, and Humana, among others. Our goal is to alleviate the financial stress often associated with treatment, allowing you to focus on the journey towards healing.

Related Addiction Therapy and Treatment Articles

Chris P

I've been to 12 rehabs over the last 20 years and NO other place has touch like Harmony Place! From the owner right down to the cleaning lady, everyone here is kinda and warm. God has blessed this place and I feel privileged to have come through here. I recommend anyone who is going through their struggle with mental health or substance abuse to pick up the phone and come! You won't regret it!

Joseph S

This place is incredible, kind, loving, patient, rigorous, educative, caring and the best place for recovery. Ill be part of the alumni crew

Monica G

I had very good experience at Harmony Place From first day I came, staff was very kind and make me feel welcome and safe. Everyone was friendly and always try to help me. The therapists are very good and caring. They listen to me and help me understand my problems better. I learn many things from them and feel stronger because of their support. The nurses also very nice and professional. They always check on me and make sure I am okay. Food was good and facilities were clean and comfortable. It help me feel more relaxed and focus on my recovery. Management also doing very good job. Everything was organized and you can see they really care about patients. I am very thankful for this place and all the people who work here. I recommend this center to anyone who needs help.

Denton

Awesome place great people u want to check this place out most definitely 😜

Tyler

A treatment center where the owners truly care about your recovery and after care.. cannot recommend enough

Jodana S

If you want to detox painlessly this is the place! The staff is A1. They truly care about us. The groups are awesome . Residential is crazy awesome! You live in a mansion. With a private chef who makes the best food. Community meeting that gets results fast, they care about your opinions. Pool and Jacuzzi are beautiful. If your struggling with addiction this is the house you should come to. I LOVE HARMONY PLACE!!!!! Thank you to all the staff they go above and beyond to make this experience comfortable therapeutic. Don't spend another day in your addiction come to Harmony Place right now!

Cass

I’ve been to 4 treatment centers before Harmony Place, and I can tell you without a single doubt that this is the absolute best by FAR. The past ones were luxury Residential Treatment centers that just treated every single client the same not tailoring to each individual, and were basically just in it for the money, dropping the ball each time. I can also tell you that I’ve never met the CEOs, but here, David comes to the facility almost every single day, and makes sure he get to know every individual here. He is incredibly kind, and was even willing to transfer me to another facility with a higher level of trauma therapy due to me having a lifetime of trauma and PTSD that just is going to take a long time to tackle. He truly cares about all of the clients having all of the tools that we need before getting released to the real world. No more of other CEO would ever be willing to miss an opportunity at making more money and even paired with my IMPECCABLE case manager to find a different facility that was more trauma based. My case manager, Sam, goes absolutely above and beyond in every single aspect. She makes sure you have a smooth transition into aftercare, provides out of this world advice when it comes to sobriety, and takes the time out of her day to make sure that FMLA and short-term disability are completely taken care of during your stay. I’ve never met a case manager that could ever compare to Sam. Ever. I feel lucky to have met her, genuinely. Marissa, my therapist, is SO SWEET, actually listens to you, and provides advice and therapy tailored to each individual’s experience. She’s handled every mood I’ve been in, never judged me, and allowed me to feel safe enough to tell her things I’ve never told any person or therapist in my 29 years of life. I’ve been going to therapy for the past 15 years, and none of those therapists even come close to how amazing she is. I’ve been to 4 other treatment centers in my life and none even come close to Harmony Place. The facility is clean, organized, and high-end. I would recommend Harmony place to my family, friends, and anyone seeking treatment. I feel SO BLESSED to have landed in their hands. THANK YOU TO EVERYONE IN THE CLINICAL STAFF BEYOND WORDS. I love you guys ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️. I feel more confident than ever in my Recovery.

Gabe H

Where to begin.. Harmony is a place that will forever be a part of my story as the first step in my recovery journey. I’m so grateful for this program. The staff is very friendly, and many of them understand what addiction is like, for they themselves have recovery stories of their own. They have an awesome team of therapists, group facilitators, nurses, RA technicians, medical and health professionals, a wonderful case manager for aftercare that cares deeply for your next steps; making sure you are set up for success. They have a wonderful admissions team (shoutout to Marielle who was so kind and understanding of my messed up situation). Everyone is very relatable and friendly. They invest heavily in the importance of diet and nutrition too - there’s a full time professional chef. I gained all the weight I lost and wanted back in the first two weeks lol. On top of the intensive programming they do throughout the day, they take us out to experience various kinds of outside groups to get a taste of the real world, and also take us on social outings during the weekend. If you’re serious about getting better this place will meet you where you’re at and prepare you to launch with a renewed mind and heart.

Monica P

I can't begin to explain just how amazing Harmony Place is. In fact, when we sit down with the owner, Jeff, and clinical director, David, on Monday mornings to have a house meeting, they ask us what they could be doing better. A bigger blender for smoothies is the ONLY thing we could come up with. Let me begin by addressing some negative reviews. If you notice many of them are from people, or are referring to people who have been asked to leave. It is because of harmony places protection of their clients that provide ideal conditions for healing and progress. There is a screening process that it is implemented where they make sure the clients they admit are ready to start a life of sobriety. Some people slip through the cracks. Some people find out a few days or weeks in that they've changed their minds. Some are inappropriate and break rules. It happens. When Harmony Place ask people to leave, It's because they are protecting the people who are here that want treatment. In effect, they're providing exactly what I needed for a genuine start to recovery. When I began my search for a treatment center, my requirements were that the facility's provide an environment in which its residents all want to be there and that it is ethically ran. I got that and so much more at Harmony Place. As well as a structured routine, they also provide a confidential and nurturing environment where one feels safe and where profound healing can begin. Their program offers a sound foundation where further progress in sober living is almost guaranteed. In group meetings, we enjoy getting to know ourselves again and with deeper understanding about why we are the way we are. We are provided with skills to handle real life. Its here that I've come to understand that its not addiction that has driven me to make a mess of my life. It is the trauma that I endured and not processing it correctly that lead to poor thinking patterns that opened the door to addiction resulting in poor life management. So we start at the bottom. Trauma. They help us understand that trauma has led to our own toxicity, what that trauma looks like and how to get out of our own way. Process groups help us learn how to take accountability and foster healthier relationships. I learned here that changing the way I think is absolutely possible and imperative to the healing process. Harmony Place offered me hope when I previously felt I was unfixable and a support team that truly loves me. Even after I leave here, I have contacts that almost demand I keep in touch and an alumni meeting where I can return to the facility on Thursday nights. I wasn't a 12 stepper when I came here but my first experience with it was not one where I was ready to stop using. I understand now that the steps will work for me. It's certainly is not the only modality that they teach. In one group, we are provided an opportunity to sit with a recently retired medical doctor to just ask questions. Another is with a nutritionist. There are a handful of people IN recovery that come to lead groups that are all accredited highly specialized where I felt understood and not judged. The knowledge I have gained here is life changing. It is also versatile and relatable for all types of people. my favorite group was dialectical behavioral therapy. There are breathing classes and sound bath groups and I started doing yoga in the morning. There's a dharma meeting they take you offsite that focuses on Buddhist values. A fantastic onsight chef provides three meals and you can have special requests. We facilitated our own Movie nights during free time. I cant forget to mention you get your own one on one meetings with your assigned primary therapist and there is comprehensive medical support complete with 24/7 nurses and a doctor that shows up throughout the week. If this is what you need to recover and you have mediCAL, cancel your mediCAL and get insurance Harmony Place accepts if you can. There are people to help you with that as well. Just call. Many, many thanks to the staff. ✔️Another life changed.🙏

Cody B

This is such an amazing place truly changed my life. I would recommend this place to anybody if they’re looking for a strong recovery house that truly cares about your recovery and not about just money So if you’re ready to change your life, don’t miss out on the greatness of harmony because this place is where it’s at