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Mental Abuse & Addiction: Signs, Effects & Treatment

September 30, 2021
Harmony Place Team

Last Updated: August 23, 2025

Unfortunately, the correlation between alcohol and emotional abuse is a significant one. It can go both ways too. In many cases, a person dealing with emotional and mental abuse will turn to drugs and alcohol as a way to get away from it all. It’s important to be aware of this connection between alcohol and emotional abuse. 

This may be a temporary coping mechanism; however, it can often lead to a substance abuse issue or addiction. On the other side of things, there are many cases where a person who is currently suffering from an addiction lashes out at family members or loved ones. When this happens with those who live in the same home, it can often result in mental or emotional abuse. Fortunately, Harmony Place helps patients heal these wounds. 

What is Mental Abuse?

To put it simply, mental abuse occurs when the abuser behaves in a way that will result in the person being abused feeling worse about themselves or like a lesser person. The abuser might behave or act in a way that results in the abused feeling like they aren’t good enough. They also may gaslight a victim to have them second guess or question themselves. 

In the case of a partnership or marriage, the abuser might behave or act in a way where the abused might feel as if they aren’t actually important to their partner anymore. It’s a particularly painful experience that may make the abuser’s partner feel unloved.

Examples of Mental Abuse

Some common examples of mental abuse include:

  • Bullying
  • Verbal abuse
  • Being overly critical
  • Mental manipulation
  • Passive aggressiveness
  • Backhanded compliments
  • Gaslighting or causing doubts
  • Making unreasonable demands
  • Expecting the other person to sacrifice their own wants and needs

When someone has discovered that they are the victim of mental abuse, they tend to do one of two things. Some will identify that they are being abused and leave immediately. Others though will recognize that they are the victims of mental abuse and stay. Some will confront the person who is abusing them, but many more will cope with the abuse in unhealthy ways such as turning to drugs and alcohol.

Signs of Mental Abuse

Low Self-Esteem and Self-Doubt

  • Constantly feeling worthless, guilty, or inadequate

  • Apologizing frequently even when not at fault

  • Self-criticism and harsh judgment of oneself

Fear and Anxiety

  • Feeling tense or on edge around certain people

  • Fear of speaking up or expressing opinions

  • Worrying excessively about doing something “wrong”

Isolation

  • Being cut off from friends, family, or support networks

  • Feeling lonely or trapped in a relationship

  • Avoiding social activities out of fear or shame

Manipulation and Control

  • Decisions are dictated by someone else

  • Feeling coerced, pressured, or threatened to comply

  • Experiencing guilt or obligation as a tool to control behavior

Emotional Instability

  • Frequent sadness, crying, or mood swings

  • Feeling hopeless, helpless, or trapped

  • Anger, frustration, or resentment that seems constant

Behavioral Signs

  • Difficulty making decisions independently

  • Over-apologizing or constantly seeking approval

  • Avoiding confrontation or hiding feelings

Cognitive Effects

  • Confusion or self-doubt about one’s own memories or perceptions

  • Feeling “crazy” or doubting reality

  • Trouble concentrating or making decisions

Mental abuse can be subtle and gradual, making it easy to miss. Recognizing these signs early is important for seeking help and support.

Effects of Mental Abuse

Mental and emotional abuse can take a very destructive toll on the overall mental health of the person who is being abused. The worst part is, the majority of the time, the person doesn’t even realize they are being abused until it is too late and their mental health deteriorates. That’s because most mental and emotional abuse occurs in a way where it might not be blatantly obvious.

Mental abuse and substance use are closely linked, and one often fuels the other. Experiencing mental or emotional abuse, such as constant criticism, manipulation, humiliation, threats, or controlling behavior, can create deep psychological wounds that increase the risk of substance use as a way to cope. People who endure this kind of abuse often feel isolated, powerless, anxious, or depressed, and drugs or alcohol may become a temporary escape from that emotional pain. Over time, self-medicating with substances can lead to dependence or addiction.

The effects of mental abuse can also worsen the cycle of substance use. Trauma from abuse damages self-esteem and distorts thinking patterns, making individuals more vulnerable to cravings, relapse, and unhealthy relationships that reinforce drug or alcohol misuse. Memory problems, concentration issues, and emotional instability caused by abuse can be compounded by the cognitive effects of substance use, making recovery more difficult.

For those already struggling with addiction, ongoing emotional abuse can prevent healing by triggering shame, hopelessness, and the belief that they are unworthy of recovery. Substance use may also place someone back into abusive environments, keeping the cycle alive. Breaking free requires addressing both issues together, healing from the trauma of abuse while also treating the addiction through counseling, therapy, and support systems.

Why People Tolerate Emotional Abuse 

Victims of emotional abuse might assume that their partner’s behavior is simply part of a relationship, especially if they grew up in an abusive home. Many also don’t want to admit to themselves that they are being abused as they are fearful of the possible repercussions associated with confronting their abuser. 

Feelings associated directly with the abuse combined with these feelings of fear or anxiety associated with confronting the abuser can lead to significant mental health issues. Mental health issues may occur such as anxiety, depression, or even post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). 

What is the Connection Between Mental Abuse and Addiction?

The development of these mental conditions as a result of mental or emotional abuse can often lead victims down a path to addiction. The person who is suffering from abuse is now suffering from these mental health conditions and is simply looking for some temporary relief in order to feel better or simply just forget about what is going on for a little. 

Many victims of abuse struggle with fear, embarrassment, discomfort when it comes to talking about their experience. The idea of speaking to someone about what is going on can be overwhelming. Instead, individuals suffering abuse may turn to drugs and alcohol for relief. Once they realize that these substances make them feel better, they might turn to them more often.

While on the surface this might seem innocent enough to the victim, in many cases it can lead to the development of a substance abuse issue on top of serious mental health issues. When this happens, it is known as having a co-occurring disorder.

Abusers Suffering from Addiction 

On the opposite side of that, it’s not uncommon for the person who is doing the abuse to also be suffering from some sort of substance abuse issue or mental health disorder as well. Many of the side effects associated with various substances of abuse can lead to the abuser lashing out, behaving in ways that belittle those who are around them. 

This is especially true when the abuser is experiencing withdrawal symptoms such as irritability. When someone is suffering from addiction, their only goal and priority is their next fix and they will get that next fix by any means possible, even if it means neglecting or abusing those around them such as a partner, spouse, or children. 

How Can I Stop the Abuse?

Even after someone realizes that they are the victim of abuse, it can be very difficult to end it. That’s why so many turn to drugs and alcohol. Unfortunately, this can lead to a substance abuse issue. Also, if the abuser catches wind of that, it can give them even more leverage to continue the abuse. 

Abusers can withhold drugs or alcohol as a way of punishment or even provide it as an incentive to get victims to stay and continue being abused. If you fear you are the victim of emotional or mental abuse, it’s important not only to identify it but also to do everything in your power to stop it in a healthy way. 

Recovering From Mental Abuse

The first thing that you need to do is to set boundaries. While it might be uncomfortable, you need to confront the abuser and tell them that the things they are doing and the ways they are treating you are simply unacceptable. Once you do this, it is crucial to stick to this, or else they won’t take you seriously.

 If they continue to behave in an abusive manner, simply walk away when they begin to act in ways that you aren’t ok with. Do not acknowledge or react to their abusive behavior. Abusers want power and control so if you walk away you aren’t giving that to them. 

It’s also important to remember that you can’t control other people’s behavior. You also aren’t responsible for those behaviors. What you can control is the people you associate yourself with. If it gets to a point where none of your methods are working, it might be time to cut ties with the abuser and leave.

Healing from Addiction to Alcohol and Emotional Abuse 

Developing a substance abuse issue can be a result of abuse. You’re already dealing with the pain and suffering of being mentally or emotionally abused. Now, the substance or substances that you thought were making you feel better are actually making things worse. Thankfully, help is available for treating both the substance abuse as well as many mental health issues that might have developed as a result of the abuse.

Detox 

The first thing to do is to go to detox. Professional detox treatment is key to recovery because without getting rid of all those harmful substances your body and brain cannot begin the recovery process. 

Detoxing should be done under the care and supervision of trained medical professionals at either a medical facility, a dedicated detox center, or a treatment center that also offers detox services such as Harmony Place. Attempting to self-detox can be dangerous and life-threatening. 

Treatment

After detox, the next step is to enter either an inpatient or outpatient treatment program. This depends on what your treatment professional recommends for you and your needs. Therapies such as cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR), and psychotherapy can help treat those suffering from both a mental health condition and substance abuse.

Find Freedom From Alcohol and Emotional Abuse at Harmony Place

Mental abuse and addiction form a perilous duo, often intertwining in a complex relationship that requires comprehensive treatment. Addressing both issues simultaneously is crucial, as the connection between mental health challenges and substance abuse is well-documented. Many individuals who endure abuse turn to substances as a coping mechanism, further complicating their path to recovery.

If you or someone you know is struggling with these intertwined issues, reaching out for professional assistance is the first step towards healing. At Harmony Place, we offer a range of treatment options designed to address both mental health and addiction effectively. Concerns about the average cost of alcohol rehab should not deter you. We provide guidance on financial aspects, including Optum addiction alcohol rehab treatment, Anthem alcohol addiction treatment, Aetna alcohol rehab treatment, and BCBS alcohol rehab. Our team can also help you navigate insurance coverage for alcohol rehab and explore options for paying for alcohol addiction treatment.

If you or someone you know is suffering and could benefit from treatment, contact us today to learn about our treatment options and how we can help you start the healing process. 

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Why Choose Harmony Place

At Harmony Place, decades of clinical expertise meet genuine compassion and individualized care, because recovery isn’t just about sobriety; it’s about rediscovering who you are. Founded by a therapist who has seen addiction’s toll firsthand and refused to give up, Harmony Place is a sanctuary where evidence-based treatment and real human connection come together to create lasting change.

  • Therapist-founded care
  • Physicians specializing in addiction care
  • 24/7 on-site nurses
  • Evidence-based treatment programs
  • Dual diagnosis expertise
  • Exclusive 12-bed program
  • A gourmet chef
  • Accepts many insurances
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Comprehensive & Accredited Rehab

At Harmony Place, our goal is to be among the best rehab centers in Los Angeles, California, through compassionate and expert care with an emphasis on treating each individual with dignity.

Harmony Place is a California state-licensed treatment facility and a leader in evidence-based treatment for co-occurring mental health and substance use disorders. We offer an integrated program that maximizes clinical service and education.

Professional Treatment Team

Our professional addiction treatment and recovery care team includes:

  • Contracted physicians specializing in addiction care
  • Contracted addiction psychiatrist, who utilizes a holistic approach
  • Licensed counselors and therapists
  • Licensed vocational nurses, on site 24/7
  • Support staff specially trained in understanding & caring for our clients
  • A gourmet chef
  • Specialists in psychodrama, EMDR, DBT, somatic therapies & art therapy
  • Specially trained admissions specialists and discharge coordinators
Real Patient Reviews

Read stories from real people who found hope and healing at Harmony Place.

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Chris P profile picture
Chris P
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I've been to 12 rehabs over the last 20 years and NO other place has touch like Harmony Place! From the owner right down to the cleaning lady, everyone here is kinda and warm. God has blessed this place and I feel privileged to have come through here. I recommend anyone who is going through their struggle with mental health or substance abuse to pick up the phone and come! You won't regret it!
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Joseph S profile picture
Joseph S
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This place is incredible, kind, loving, patient, rigorous, educative, caring and the best place for recovery. Ill be part of the alumni crew
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Monica G profile picture
Monica G
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I had very good experience at Harmony Place From first day I came, staff was very kind and make me feel welcome and safe. Everyone was friendly and always try to help me. The therapists are very good and caring. They listen to me and help me understand my problems better. I learn many things from them and feel stronger because of their support. The nurses also very nice and professional. They always check on me and make sure I am okay. Food was good and facilities were clean and comfortable. It help me feel more relaxed and focus on my recovery. Management also doing very good job. Everything was organized and you can see they really care about patients. I am very thankful for this place and all the people who work here. I recommend this center to anyone who needs help.
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Denton
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Awesome place great people u want to check this place out most definitely 😜
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Tyler
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A treatment center where the owners truly care about your recovery and after care.. cannot recommend enough
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Jodana S
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If you want to detox painlessly this is the place! The staff is A1. They truly care about us. The groups are awesome . Residential is crazy awesome! You live in a mansion. With a private chef who makes the best food. Community meeting that gets results fast, they care about your opinions. Pool and Jacuzzi are beautiful. If your struggling with addiction this is the house you should come to. I LOVE HARMONY PLACE!!!!! Thank you to all the staff they go above and beyond to make this experience comfortable therapeutic. Don't spend another day in your addiction come to Harmony Place right now!
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Cass
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I’ve been to 4 treatment centers before Harmony Place, and I can tell you without a single doubt that this is the absolute best by FAR. The past ones were luxury Residential Treatment centers that just treated every single client the same not tailoring to each individual, and were basically just in it for the money, dropping the ball each time. I can also tell you that I’ve never met the CEOs, but here, David comes to the facility almost every single day, and makes sure he get to know every individual here. He is incredibly kind, and was even willing to transfer me to another facility with a higher level of trauma therapy due to me having a lifetime of trauma and PTSD that just is going to take a long time to tackle. He truly cares about all of the clients having all of the tools that we need before getting released to the real world. No more of other CEO would ever be willing to miss an opportunity at making more money and even paired with my IMPECCABLE case manager to find a different facility that was more trauma based. My case manager, Sam, goes absolutely above and beyond in every single aspect. She makes sure you have a smooth transition into aftercare, provides out of this world advice when it comes to sobriety, and takes the time out of her day to make sure that FMLA and short-term disability are completely taken care of during your stay. I’ve never met a case manager that could ever compare to Sam. Ever. I feel lucky to have met her, genuinely. Marissa, my therapist, is SO SWEET, actually listens to you, and provides advice and therapy tailored to each individual’s experience. She’s handled every mood I’ve been in, never judged me, and allowed me to feel safe enough to tell her things I’ve never told any person or therapist in my 29 years of life. I’ve been going to therapy for the past 15 years, and none of those therapists even come close to how amazing she is. I’ve been to 4 other treatment centers in my life and none even come close to Harmony Place. The facility is clean, organized, and high-end. I would recommend Harmony place to my family, friends, and anyone seeking treatment. I feel SO BLESSED to have landed in their hands. THANK YOU TO EVERYONE IN THE CLINICAL STAFF BEYOND WORDS. I love you guys ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️. I feel more confident than ever in my Recovery.
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Gabe H
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Where to begin.. Harmony is a place that will forever be a part of my story as the first step in my recovery journey. I’m so grateful for this program. The staff is very friendly, and many of them understand what addiction is like, for they themselves have recovery stories of their own. They have an awesome team of therapists, group facilitators, nurses, RA technicians, medical and health professionals, a wonderful case manager for aftercare that cares deeply for your next steps; making sure you are set up for success. They have a wonderful admissions team (shoutout to Marielle who was so kind and understanding of my messed up situation). Everyone is very relatable and friendly. They invest heavily in the importance of diet and nutrition too - there’s a full time professional chef. I gained all the weight I lost and wanted back in the first two weeks lol. On top of the intensive programming they do throughout the day, they take us out to experience various kinds of outside groups to get a taste of the real world, and also take us on social outings during the weekend. If you’re serious about getting better this place will meet you where you’re at and prepare you to launch with a renewed mind and heart.
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Monica P profile picture
Monica P
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I can't begin to explain just how amazing Harmony Place is. In fact, when we sit down with the owner, Jeff, and clinical director, David, on Monday mornings to have a house meeting, they ask us what they could be doing better. A bigger blender for smoothies is the ONLY thing we could come up with. Let me begin by addressing some negative reviews. If you notice many of them are from people, or are referring to people who have been asked to leave. It is because of harmony places protection of their clients that provide ideal conditions for healing and progress. There is a screening process that it is implemented where they make sure the clients they admit are ready to start a life of sobriety. Some people slip through the cracks. Some people find out a few days or weeks in that they've changed their minds. Some are inappropriate and break rules. It happens. When Harmony Place ask people to leave, It's because they are protecting the people who are here that want treatment. In effect, they're providing exactly what I needed for a genuine start to recovery. When I began my search for a treatment center, my requirements were that the facility's provide an environment in which its residents all want to be there and that it is ethically ran. I got that and so much more at Harmony Place. As well as a structured routine, they also provide a confidential and nurturing environment where one feels safe and where profound healing can begin. Their program offers a sound foundation where further progress in sober living is almost guaranteed. In group meetings, we enjoy getting to know ourselves again and with deeper understanding about why we are the way we are. We are provided with skills to handle real life. Its here that I've come to understand that its not addiction that has driven me to make a mess of my life. It is the trauma that I endured and not processing it correctly that lead to poor thinking patterns that opened the door to addiction resulting in poor life management. So we start at the bottom. Trauma. They help us understand that trauma has led to our own toxicity, what that trauma looks like and how to get out of our own way. Process groups help us learn how to take accountability and foster healthier relationships. I learned here that changing the way I think is absolutely possible and imperative to the healing process. Harmony Place offered me hope when I previously felt I was unfixable and a support team that truly loves me. Even after I leave here, I have contacts that almost demand I keep in touch and an alumni meeting where I can return to the facility on Thursday nights. I wasn't a 12 stepper when I came here but my first experience with it was not one where I was ready to stop using. I understand now that the steps will work for me. It's certainly is not the only modality that they teach. In one group, we are provided an opportunity to sit with a recently retired medical doctor to just ask questions. Another is with a nutritionist. There are a handful of people IN recovery that come to lead groups that are all accredited highly specialized where I felt understood and not judged. The knowledge I have gained here is life changing. It is also versatile and relatable for all types of people. my favorite group was dialectical behavioral therapy. There are breathing classes and sound bath groups and I started doing yoga in the morning. There's a dharma meeting they take you offsite that focuses on Buddhist values. A fantastic onsight chef provides three meals and you can have special requests. We facilitated our own Movie nights during free time. I cant forget to mention you get your own one on one meetings with your assigned primary therapist and there is comprehensive medical support complete with 24/7 nurses and a doctor that shows up throughout the week. If this is what you need to recover and you have mediCAL, cancel your mediCAL and get insurance Harmony Place accepts if you can. There are people to help you with that as well. Just call. Many, many thanks to the staff. ✔️Another life changed.🙏
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Cody B profile picture
Cody B
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This is such an amazing place truly changed my life. I would recommend this place to anybody if they’re looking for a strong recovery house that truly cares about your recovery and not about just money So if you’re ready to change your life, don’t miss out on the greatness of harmony because this place is where it’s at
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